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When it comes to negotiation skills, women are divided.  We score well when dealing with the kids but have difficulty with young adults and men, particularly at work.  Women will give up what they really want in order to have peace.  My sister calls it ‘the go along to get along’. 

Women usually take this path because they don’t believe they have the power to stand toe to toe with males in negotiation. There are powerful female negotiators today; however, many of us are lacking the skills. 

Learning good negotiation skills will be useful in relationships as well as on the job.  Of course, if you challenge your boss, it may simply be the ‘I’m the boss, so, do as I say rule.’  However, I believe managers are the best people to practice your negotiation skills with.  You can present your case and your reasoning to them and even if you can’t sway them to your way of thinking, you can watch and listen to their rebuttals.  This allows you to determine your strong and weak points and hone your skills from there. Just don’t get fired. 

Things to do when negotiating: 

·      Almost anything is negotiable!  I find this is a fact in countries other than America.  We are just now learning and becoming comfortable with bargaining.  Although, I strongly suspect the tightwads of this world have been practicing this skill for a long time; we have some catching up to do.

·      Prepare for the meeting.  If you start with a strong plan to reach the goal it will be better received than if you are sketchy.  Know what you want and have a clear understanding of what others need as well. Make sure your plan meets the stated needs.

·         Get others perspectives by asking questions. This allows you to find out where they are in the process. Ask questions like, “What do you need from me? What are your concerns?”  This opens the door for you check their stance on the project.

·      Prepare for collaboration not confrontation.  Men and women negotiate differently and I suspect this is why we have a hard time communicating and getting the other side to agree.  Prepare to talk about planning the project so it doesn’t appear you are dictating how things will be done.  There will always be someone ready to shoot down your plan.  Don’t take it personally; some people believe it is their life purpose to oppose every idea until they are outmanned.  Stay focused on your presentation.

·         Come prepared with options.  If your suggestion is not acceptable be prepared to offer your second solution, even a third. 

What NOT to do during a negotiation session:

·         Timing is everything.  Don’t try negotiating when there is a high level of stress; anger; fatigue.  Make sure everyone is focused on the same goal.

·         Don’t become emotional.

·         Don’t Blame others.

Remember, negotiation is about finding the best solutions possible without totally alienating others.  Keep focused on why you are there and the purpose of the meeting.  Don’t allow yourself to be sidetracked.

If you are a WISE woman or want to become one, please sign up to receive updates by RSS or your Email inbox and leave your comments. Please keep your comments valid to the posts.  You can also reach me at onewizeone@yahoo.com. I will reply to you.  If you have a blog leave a linkback so others can visit your site as well. 

Tags: Negotiation, Negotiation Skills, The go along to get along

I started this blog because I was one of those people who wanted to enjoy a certain lifestyle but, somehow, never seemed to get started or started and stopped and did not finish a project.  There always seemed to be obstacles in the way; some were my doing, others were beyond my control.  Either way I was not achieving my goals; in fact, I was “hustling backwards,” as my father used to say.  I was watching my desires slip into that ‘fog of lost dreams’ never to be seen again unless I changed something.

This required that I look at myself in a critical way.  Introspection is difficult because we are forced to acknowledge mistakes and shortcomings in ourselves.  No matter whose blame, ultimately, we have to take responsibility for our lives. 

Usually, we find most, if not all, of the obstacles could be overcome if we had just accepted that we alone are responsible for our destiny.  We received a wonderful gift at birth that we learn to manage as we grow up, it’s called choice.  If you are honest with yourself, you are where you are, for the most part, because you choose to be there. 

Let’s assume we all are fairly bright and have a decent work ethic. Why is it then that we have difficulty staying on track?  Why do we usually stop midstream?  The answer is perseverance.  We have not fully charged our perseverance meter for unlimited use.

What is Perseverance anyway?

Answer.com best reply:

To persist in or remain constant to a purpose, idea, or task in the face of obstacles or discouragement.

 

I strongly believe that perseverance often leads to success.  It is the motor that keeps you chugging along.  It doesn’t matter if you speed sometimes or put on the cruise control.  Go forward and see what the end will be.  We must be persistent even when we face obstacles or discouragement.  You have seen over the months how I have been discouraged by the tech issues with Feedburner.com. 

As a new blogger, I wanted to appear consistent with my readers.  I didn’t want them to think I was erratic in my posts.  I couldn’t control any problems with Feedburner but I knew their problems did not prevent me from blogging.  I continued blogging.  I understood that eventually, the problems would be corrected and most of them were.   

If I had stopped blogging, I would have fallen into the same trap of not constantly pushing forward.  I could have easily put off blogging by saying, “well, I’ll just wait until they get their tech problems fixed.  What’s the point in me wasting my time writing when nobody will see it?”   

Instead, I decided to write no matter if the subscribers see it or not.  I knew I would feel better knowing that even though my blog posts weren’t being read, I still took the time to write them for the day when they would be read.

Here are some tips to rev up your perseverance motor:

·         Find and repeat your favorite quotes or feel free to adopt some I use:

“My favorite car had no reverse gear.  It taught me I could only go forward.” ~Flavia

“I am what God says I am. I can do what God says I can.” ~Pastor Joseph Glover

“You are what you repeatedly do; excellence, then, is a habit.” Aristotle

“If you’re not the lead dog…you get the same view every day.” Unknown

• Create a Support Force to call if you need encouragement or a different perspective.

·         Keep a Journal for your personal thoughts on how the project is going

·         Plan a few days away from the project many times this gives you a fresh look at your project when you come back

·         Treat yourself to something wonderful to celebrate how far you’ve come even if it is, in my favorite phrase, ‘baby steps.’ 

·         Encourage yourself by visualizing how wonderful it will be when the project is completed and how great you will feel.

·         Help someone else who is struggling to take your focus off yourself.  You will be surprised how talking about someone else’s problem will give you insight into your own.

If you are a WISE woman or want to become one, please sign up to receive updates by RSS or your Email inbox and leave your comments. Please keep your comments valid to the posts.  You can also reach me at onewizeone@yahoo.com. I will reply to you.  If you have a blog leave a linkback so others can visit your site as well.

Tags: Perseverance, Persistence