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Today, I went to breakfast with a couple of friends.  One of my friends invited me to see his newly remodeled kitchen and it is fabulous.  It is one of those upscale kitchens straight out of HGTV.  I wanted to take pix so I could show them but of course I didn’t have my camera. 

Today, is the last day of the Down Time Contest and I just want to thank everyone who participated.  You still have until midnight tonight to post if you want to win.  I will announce the winner on Monday, 2 March 2009. 

I was able to return to my home today because my recovering friend has a family member that is coming in to stay with him for a week.  This gives me time to focus on my own life.  However, I thank God for being able to serve my friend because I I haven’t often been able to do that as an ongoing service.  I might not be able to do it for a long time to come.

I attended a meeting this afternoon for a nonprofit group called AfterCare that I have been a part of for several months.  This group assists exoffenders who have accepted God into their lives and are now trying to reintegrate back into their communities.  This group is not a part of my church but of another church I have come to be acquainted with.  I listened to men and women talk about their concerns since being released and how they encouraged those among them who are struggling with a particular problem. 

It was an uplifting experience because they were using the words of bible and quoting scripture letting me know they were not only saying they believed but they were studying to show themselves approved.  I am hoping they will continue to learn as they start again to live in a way that will be successful and pleasing in the sight of the Lord.

Tags: AfterCare, Exoffenders

I had a conversation today with someone who was talking about a friend that has issues in a certain area and would not go beyond that boundary.  He also mentioned another friend who has other similar issues and he said, “Oh, well, that’s how they are and you have to accept your friends and their quirks, as they come.”

I agree with that statement to a point.  Some of my close friends have what we call today, ‘issues’ and I accept them just as they are…until it begins to interfere with our relationship.  I know we all have what we modern day people call, challenges, and because I have my own challenges I try to understand what others are going through.  But, maybe, unlike most of you, I challenge their challenges.  In other words, I refuse to allow my friends to go through life without making an effort to overcome personal obstacles that are keeping them from their goals.

Here is a recent example.  I have a great friend who has been supportive of me during my transition.  She has assisted me at every opportunity and I know she doesn’t realize that she has helped me stay sane, on track and moving forward.  I am grateful for having her in my life.  She also has a challenge, she hates driving up and down steep hills.  Now that might sound strange to you and I don’t know how this challenge came into her life.  What I do know is that we live in a city of hills and at some point if you stay here long enough you will have to navigate one of them, probably a steep one. 

So, we had to drive down this steep hill and she was complaining about me directing her to that route, in fact, at one point she sort of screamed, not crazy, but she was outside of her comfort zone and it made her cry out.  The thing is that while she was nervous, she never let go of the wheel or did anything that would put us in danger.  She worked through her challenge.  The funny thing is that as we neared the bottom, a truck had gotten stuck and we had to go back up the hill.  All the while, she was telling me off and I was encouraging her through her discomfort of driving on hills. 

We had to navigate a different route and that included a couple more hill climbs in her van but I kept pointing out her success and mastery of her fear.  By the time we got to the bottom of the area, she was calm and no longer telling me off.  She had made it!  She had faced a challenge and conquered it.

My point is that sometimes we self impose challenges because our initial experience may not have been pleasant.  The next time we have to face that same obstacle we draw on our memory of the last experience and its unpleasantness and then refuse to face that obstacle and that can be the start of a life long self imposed fear.

I kept telling my friend during that experience that the only thing we should truly fear is God.  We should allow him to determine if we should stay or flee. 

I guess by now you are wondering what it is that I fear, so I’ll tell you, it is heights.  I don’t like heights; however, I make myself face that challenge from time to time because I don’t want it to hinder me. I ride Ferris wheels; coasters, devil drops, etc.  I will take a plane but after a while I just want to get off, so, am thinking that a little claustrophobia is involved too.  I am not afraid of snakes like most people, but I don’t like water bugs. Once, I broke my iron throwing it across the room at a water bug.  I refuse to let myself be, as the men say, ‘punked’ by those things in life that were here before I arrived. 

The strange thing is that I don’t remember being afraid of heights or bugs as a child.  I remember jumping from a garage roof across a five foot wide drop fifteen foot drop onto a hillside, as a form of play with the boys from my neighborhood.  I handled crickets, praying mantis, worms and just about everything else in the bug spectrum.  So, when did these fears develop?  I don’t know.  I only know that it is something I must face if I want to move normally in my life.

Unfortunately, I have no real patience for people who won’t at least try to face their fears.  I am not saying all fears must be conquered but I am saying an honest effort will do wonders for your confidence.  I am a little ashamed to admit that I distance myself from people who have a myriad of phobias and we can’t have a decent outing or meeting without that thing taking up all of the attention. 

Unlike, the person I had this discussion with, I won’t just let my friends go through life with these ‘monkeys’ on their backs that hinder them from living a fairly normal existence.  I will challenge my friends on those barriers they have placed in their lives and have never tried to remove, climb over, tunnel under or go around.

 I feel most things are at least worth an honest try when it comes to making a better life.  I don’t want to interact with anyone who has allowed obstacles to take precedence over courage.  I believe cultivating that type of mindset creates a green house for other obstacles to become rooted in our lives.  This is another reason my motto is…Do Something…even if it’s wrong!